a great man once said, “In war there is no runner up”. I’ve read this inset while playing Call of Duty 2. The final piece of the puzzle i need to surrender what I’ve fought for the past 30 months of my resurrecting battle for emotional supremacy. The say, if its worth fighting for you have to fight hard and give it all you’ve got. I did, i followed the rules, textbook style, hovered and kept my silence. When the dust settled for merely the longest war time of my heart, I was ready to pounce and relinquish what is supposed to be my resolve. But i was wrong, the war ended but i didn’t claim the victory. My long wait ended but was interrupted by a name she used to whisper in my ear. What was just like a short story became the biggest threat that made me realize a dejavu waiting to spur. Thus welcoming the true despair of a man who followed the rules, gave it all, bled & breathe has taken its toll. Is it? Cupid has been so ungenerous to the author, shooting his arrow to a different direction. Her being quite with just a snap of a finger made me the most teary eyed entity in this war called love.
what I longed for in years vanished with a blink of an eye. A lot of women dubbed the man as a womanizer, now i say this. How can a man be judged to be a bed sheet changer when he can only love a woman with all his heart, soul and fail in the end. No one will agree. I am tainted just like my heartbeat, almost going flat line..
should i blame myself for following the rule book? or am i just a victim? Accidentally, her name sounded like my ex-wife’s but in tagalog. Have I not learned my lesson? Is it really that of an obstacle trying to master the art of the hearts? should i fall into ashes? should i give up? is there hope for this despair to end? will i ever get what i want in my life?
just like what the 4th espada said to young inoue …“What is this “heart”? If I tear open that chest of yours, will I see it there? If I smash open that skull of yours, will I see it there?”
Even if i rise up a thousand times, there will be no victory for me? or for us to be together? =(